Over and Over
by Kagomechan56
Summary: It's the usual story; Inuyasha is a lying cheat who pushes his girlfriend Kagome away and into the arms of his older brother Sesshoumaru. But there's something strange about the Taisho brothers...And Kagome's boss for that matter...
1. Chapter 1 Over and Over

Hi Guys, this is my new story. I'm afraid that The Icy Winds might not be continuing, I seem to have hit a bit of a wall. My current plotline is a bit of a paradox, but once I get that sorted out in my head I might well carry on writing it. Sorry to all those who were waiting so patiently for a new chapter!

Meanwhile I have been working on this, so enjoy! XD

The chapter titles are all the names of songs that I was listening to while I wrote this, so very loosely its a songfic. This chapter is based on Over and Over by Three Days Grace

Chapter 1: Over and Over

Kagome sat at her desk, chin in hand. Despite the pile of work mounting on her desk, she couldn't bring herself to stop staring out of the window. Silent tears made steady tracks down her face. It had happened again. He had pushed her away again. Even though he had promised this time would be different, in the end she was still crying.

"Kagome?" a quiet voice said from behind her.

Kagome jumped, her elbow slipped and the mountain of work flew off her desk. Quickly wiping her face with her sleeve, she turned to find Kouga, her supervisor, looking at her with concerned eyes. He kneeled to pick them up, never taking his eyes off hers.

"You ok?" he asked.

She simply nodded, not trusting her voice not to betray her. She even tried for a weak smile that he didn't believe for an instant but, respecting her need for privacy, didn't call her on. Quickly piling her work back on her desk, he gently said

"Can I have this done by five please Kagome?"

At her nod, he quickly moved away, leaving her to her brooding. Kagome went back to staring out of the window but refused to let the tears well up again. After all, her crying at work was nothing new. In fact it was almost a regular occurrence. It wasn't that Kagome was an overemotional person; she was almost the opposite. It was just that her romantic choices were never exactly good for her. Over and over she made a fool of herself about this one guy. And he didn't even realize how much he hurt her every time he pushed her away. But even so, each time he opened his arms she came running.

Sighing, she pulled her eyes away from the window and onto her computer screen. She had made a promise to herself not to do this again. So he was gone. So what? She was an independent, modern young woman who didn't need a man to make her feel complete…….at least that was what she kept telling herself.

In reality since he had walked out yesterday morning she had been feeling like part of her was missing, like she was slowly being split in two. She was just about to sink into another round of self pity when a mug of hot chocolate was set down in front of her. She turned to see her best friend, Sango, who also held a huge bar of Galaxy and another mug of hot chocolate. Sango smiled before dragging up a chair and flopping into it.

"Ok," she said, unwrapping the chocolate "Spill."

Kagome couldn't help but smile in return. Something about Sango always put her in a better mood. They had been friends since nursery school, stuck by each other through the tortures of adolescence, roomed together at university and had even been flat mates until Kagome had moved out to live with her boyfriend. And though it all they had always watched each others backs. Sango had never approved of Kagome's boyfriend, not least for the way he casually left her for his ex.

"Inuyasha's gone again." Kagome said glumly, snapping off a chunk of chocolate.

Sango put her arm around her.

"Kagome, I don't mean to be a bitch but it's hardly unexpected. You knew at the beginning that he had never got over Kikyou. And you knew after the first time he left that it was going to keep happening. He was never yours, Kagome, and you could wait for him forever, but nothing will change that."

Kagome nodded without saying anything. She knew all of this, had known it for a long time, but it still hurt to hear it said out loud. She didn't want to believe it, didn't want to accept that she had wasted the last three years of her life.

"What if he comes back, Sango? What if next time he stays?"

Sango's face fell. The hope in Kagome's eyes broke her heart. Each time Inuyasha left she had to watch her best friend shatter, over and over again.

"Honey," Sango said gently, "If you truly believe that then I can't help you. But think about this; are you really willing to live your life based on a 'what if'?"

With that Sango got up and put her chair away.

"Just think about it ok?"

Kagome mustered a weak smile for her friend and then watched her walk to her own desk on the other side of the office. Sango was right; deep in her heart Kagome accepted that. And she knew that if she never moved on she would spend the rest of her life waiting for a man that couldn't care less about her. Was she willing to live her life based on a 'what if'? Deciding that she wasn't, she knew what she had to do. Getting up she marched over to Sango's desk.

"Can I move back in with you?"

The look of surprise and pleasure that flooded her friends face almost made it worth it.


	2. Chapter 2 Let it die

Well, here's chapter 2! Didn't get many reviews for chapter one, but my heartfelt thanks to

XxLovesxInuyashaxX; I'm afraid that most of the chapters I have written so far are pretty short, but I hope to compensate with faster updates.

I'm planning to update once a week at the moment, but my creative juices dry up without feedback, even negative! So please R&R, my muse depends on you!

This one is Let it die by Three Days Grace (Sorry but I love them!)

Chapter 2: Let it die

Hours later Kagome stood in front of her closet, willing herself to take the final step, to break the umbilical cord. Behind her lay stacks of cardboard boxes, both full and empty. She had already cleared out almost everything that she owned in the flat, just her clothes remained. She knew she couldn't stay here, knew that the flat was legally owned by Inuyasha, knew that she would never move on with his presence haunting her but she couldn't bring herself to pack her clothes. If she did that would mean she was really leaving, really closing this chapter of her life.

Before she could deliberate any further her mobile rang. It was Sango. Flipping her phone open, she held it to her ear.

"Hey Sango what's up?"

"You having second thoughts?"

"Err no, why?" Kagome almost squeaked.

"Because you said you would be here at six. Its twenty past seven."

Even over the phone Kagome could hear the smile in Sango's voice. It made her relax and she couldn't help but giggle at the panic she had felt only moments earlier. She didn't want Sango to know how hard it was for her to let go. Three years was a long time to just throw away. Speaking of throwing away…..

"Sango just keep talking ok." Kagome said, eyes closed and turned away from the closet where her hands were reaching for the first hanger.

"Huh? Why?" Sango said in her ear.

"No reason. Just want to hear your voice." Kagome said throwing the second outfit into a box. She could sort them out at Sango's but right now she had to get them out of the closet and get herself out of there.

"You're always complaining you hear too much of my voice! But I'll pander to your eccentricity just this once."

Kagome chuckled and carried on with her task, Sango's mindless prattle filling her mind. After ten minutes she had all her clothes folded up and taped up in boxes.

"Ok, Sango, got to go. I'll be at yours in about half an hour. Just got to load the car up and I'm done."

"Right. I'll have a bath and meal waiting for you."

"You're a star. See you in a bit."

Kagome flipped her phone shut and started to haul the boxes outside to her car. Not for the first time she cursed Inuyasha for insisting on living in a fourth floor flat in a building without a lift. Finally she only had to grab her purse and she could be away. She scanned the now very empty looking flat. It had come ready furnished so none of the furniture was missing but all of the little things that made a house a home were gone. She had taken all of the many photographs down and now all the surfaces looked bare. She walked into the bedroom and looked at her gaping closet. She had made the bed up with fresh sheets as a last ditch attempt to wipe any trace of her from the flat. It had worked. The place looked like a hotel; sterile and impersonal. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she turned to leave. Only to see Inuyasha standing in the doorway.

"Inuyasha," she whispered, the faint tremor in her voice giving away how afraid she was. Not of him but of herself. She was afraid of how easily she could betray herself and give in to him. All he would have to do was open his arms and she would run to him.

"What the hell is going on here?" He almost yelled, shaking her out of her thoughts. So much for opening his arms.

"I'm leaving Inuyasha. I was going to leave my key on the table but as you're here I might as well give it to you." The steely calm in her voice was the only hint of how angry his words made her. After what he had done to her what had he expected her to do? The answer was obvious. He had expected her to wait for him, to let him hurt her all over again. Like she had always done. Well not anymore. She dug around in her purse until she found the key and placed it into his hand. His face was a picture of shock and it made her smile bitterly.

"Goodbye Inuyasha," she said, walking around him and towards the door.

"Wait. Where do you think you're going? Get back here!" He yelled after her. Kagome kept walking, taking a certain pleasure in disobeying him.

"You'll be back. When you're tired of being alone, you'll be back because no one else will have you!"

Kagome grit her teeth and didn't let her pace falter. As much as she would have liked to retort, she didn't trust herself not to punch his perfect nose in. She walked through the front door and slammed it behind her, never once looking back. It was only after she was in her car that she let the tears fall.

~~**~~

As she opened the door, Sango's expression went from welcoming to shock.

"Kagome, what happened?"

"Inuyasha was at the flat" Kagome said thickly, shuffling into Sango's flat with a box of clothes.

"Do you want me to make you a hot chocolate?" Sango asked, taking the box from her exhausted friend and guiding her onto the sofa.

Kagome couldn't help but smile; Sango thought that hot chocolate could cure anything. Unfortunately some things were not so easily healed.

"Sorry Sango, but I think the situation calls for something a bit stronger."

Sango closed the front door and then went into the kitchen.

"How does a gin and tonic sound?" she called over her shoulder.

"That's fine," Kagome called back, "just make sure it's nice and strong."

Kagome glanced around the spacious living room. Sango had redecorated since she had moved out. The loud, colourful décor that had betrayed their status as kids fresh from university had been covered by a much more adult and sophisticated colour scheme. The walls had all been painted calm creams and browns and the mustard yellow carpet had been removed to show the natural wood floorboards underneath. Even though the overall look was so much better than the way they had decorated the flat originally, Kagome couldn't help but miss their clumsy first efforts. They had spent weeks saving up for the materials and had done everything themselves, from the patchy paint job to the badly laid carpet. It was reminisce of a time when they had done everything together, before she had met Inuyasha and he had pulled them apart.

Sighing, she leant back into the overstuffed sofa. It had been one hell of a day and something told her it wasn't over yet.


	3. Chapter 3 Lets start a riot

This chapter is testament to my warped sense of humor. I found it funny, hope you will too!

Julie; Be patient, she will!

And thanks everyone else for your encouraging reviews! XD

Lets start a riot, Three Days Grace

Chapter 3: Let's start a riot

Hours and many gin and tonics later, Kagome stood in the living room, swaying slightly. Sango had gone to make up her bed and, without her friends support, the room was spinning alarmingly.

The doorbell rang, almost making her fall over. She struggled over to the front door, grabbing onto the furniture as she went. She opened the door on unsteady legs and blinked, trying to get her blurred vision into focus.

"Hello?" she said, her voice slightly slurred.

She looked up to see a very tall man standing in the doorway. He had short, platinum blond hair, light hazel eyes and bore an uncanny resemblance to the man she had just broken up with.

The gloom of the corridor, coupled with her still blurry eyesight, meant that her alcohol muddled brain didn't have time to engage before her eyes narrowed and she whispered,

"You bastard,"

before shutting the door in his face.

She rocked back on her heels and started to look confused. That man had been too tall to be Inuyasha…….

Sango came out of the bedroom, a concerned look on her face.

"I heard the doorbell. You okay Kags?"

Kagome frowned.

"Inuyasha's outside. I think……"

Sango's forehead furrowed in confusion.

"You think?"

She crossed over to the door and peered through the peephole.

"That's not Inuyasha you idiot!" Sango hissed at her, "That's Sesshoumaru. He owns the building!"

Kagome's frown got deeper.

"Inuyasha doesn't own a building," she said slowly in an effort not to slur her words. "He's a car salesman."

"It's not Inuyasha!" Sango whispered louder.

"Then why does he look like Inuyasha?"

Before Sango could stop her, Kagome had the door open and was pointing at the man on the other side.

"See, he looks like Inuyasha so he must be Inuyasha." She said with logic only children and the very drunk can muster.

The stranger's expression flickered ever so slightly before returning to deadpan.

Kagome turned to him, childish pout firmly in place, and pointed an accusing finger at his chest.

"Are you Inuyasha?"

"I can assure you, I am not."

His voice was velvety soft and, despite his lack of expression, Kagome could have sworn there was a sparkle in his eyes.

He turned to Sango and handed her a card, never taking his eyes from Kagome's.

"There is a meeting tomorrow night to discuss the upcoming renovations. Please come."

Although the words were polite enough, Kagome could sense the underlying command. And she had no thought of disobeying him, not while his eyes were locked with hers. Eyes that were so like Inuyasha's and yet not………

Kagome was startled back to the real world when he broke the contact and turned to leave. Before he went, he looked over his shoulder and said,

"Inuyasha is my younger brother."

With that he left, not looking back once. As he rounded the corner at the end of the corridor, Kagome snapped out of her trance. Realising she had been staring after him, she quickly schooled her expression from dopey to neutral.

Nose in the air she marched past a silently laughing Sango and into the flat. She sat down on her bed, kicked off her shoes and was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

~~**~~

"Please tell me there is a cement mixer running and that grinding is not my head." Kagome mumbled into the pillow.

She was curled up into the foetal position on the sofa, early morning sunlight blinding her and sending shoots of pain through her delicate head. Sango sat across from her, holding a cup of tea and a bottle of pain killers.

"As much as I would like to be sympathetic, you brought this on yourself." She said with a barely concealed smile.

Kagome grimaced.

"The headache I can deal with, it's the humiliation that's killing me."

Sango's smile got wider.

"And it will all be much worse tonight when you have to meet him sober."

Kagome looked up sharply, immediately regretting it as pain shot through her head, and stared at Sango.

"Huh?" was her very refined response.

"Well since you're officially a tenant here again I thought you ought to go." Sango said her innocent expression and tone betrayed by the mischievous glint in her eyes.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!!!!!" Kagome yelled, ignoring her delicate head this time. "I am not going to stand in a room with that man, exchanging pleasantries, knowing that he has seen me drunk out of my face. Not to mention that he is _Inuyasha's older brother_!!!! I bet my performance last night has already become hot gossip in the Taisho household. I can just see that stuck up Sesshoumaru asking Inuyasha what he ever saw in me!"

"Kagome, calm down!" Sango almost yelled. Her friend was bordering on hysterical! "And don't jump to conclusions. Sesshoumaru is a really nice guy. A bit aloof, maybe, but on the whole he's a good landlord. Just give him a chance. Please?"

Kagome sighed and slumped back into the chair.

"You're right," she said helplessly. "I guess I just don't like the thought of someone I barely know seeing me that vulnerable. He probably thinks that I'm some weird alcoholic. Or worse, that I'm desperately pining over Inuyasha!"

Sango raised an eyebrow.

"Kags, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you _were_pining over Inuyasha."

Kagome looked at Sango levelly.

"'Were' being the operative word; as in past tense. Which is weird because at this point I'm usually still in bed crying my eyes out. In fact you would be arriving soon with a big tub of ice cream and trying to persuade me to leave him. Wow. How times have changed."

Sango was relieved. At last her friend was healing all the damage Inuyasha had done. Now if only she could find someone else for her best friend. There was a very nice man two floors down. He might just be the answer……….


	4. Chapter 4 Here Is Gone

All the way up to chapter 4! Its a record!!

Hope you are all enjoying it! Love to all my reviewers, you are keeping me writing!

I'm afraid updates might slow in the next few weeks, I have just found out that a family friend is dying of cancer, so I'm a bit upset. Hopefully it wont affect my writing, but just so you are forewarned.....

This chapter is Here is gone, Three days grace

Chapter 4: Here is Gone

Kagome stood near the door biting her lip. She really didn't want to be here. The room was already crowded with people, some of which she knew but most she didn't. A lot had changed since she moved out and not just to her. Sakura from 4G had given birth to another clone of herself called Suki. Tamaki from 9F had gotten married to a beautiful girl from Tokyo. It was surreal, so much had changed. She supposed that she had expected it all to stand still while she was away.

The room was alive with the buzz of conversation. Sango was engrossed in a verbal battle with a guy called Miroku from 2A. He was also a new development and Kagome watched them with interest. Was it her imagination or was Sango blushing every time she caught the handsome man's eyes?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Sesshoumaru. She felt rather than saw him enter the room. Every hair on her neck stood to attention and a shiver went down her spine. She told herself that it was only because he had seen her drunk but in the depths of her heart she knew she was lying. It was him, the man, pure and simple. Something about him made her want to forget that she was still heartbroken, forget his resemblance to Inuyasha, forget herself and just say 'yes'. She wasn't quite sure what she would be saying yes to, but whatever it was it couldn't be good for her still tender heart or her pride.

Self consciously she ran her fingers through her jet black hair and smoothed down her pale blue top. She took a deep, fortifying, breath and looked up to see Sesshoumaru looking straight at her. His hazel eyes gazed straight into her and she couldn't stop the goose bumps that rose on her arms. He smirked slightly, as if he knew what she was thinking, and broke the contact. Kagome let out the breath she hadn't known she was holding and turned to see Sango. Sango's face also held a faint smirk but hers didn't leave Kagome feeling breathless and light-headed. It just made her annoyed.

"We are leaving now." she snapped crossly, grabbing Sango's hand and trying to drag her out of the room.

"_I _am not going anywhere. _You _can go home if you really want to. But don't blame me when you get bored."

With that Sango dragged her hand free from Kagome's, turned and went back into the room.

Kagome huffed and marched out, thoroughly miffed. Her good natured friend never talked to her like that! On the other hand Kagome never usually acted that spoilt either. Her steps slowed as she was overwhelmed by a wave of shame. She had been nothing but a burden for Sango over the last three years but Sango had stood by her through it all. The least Kagome owed her was to not act like a brat all the time.

Her pace slowed as she reached her door. She automatically went to grab her keys from her purse when she realised she didn't have it. Sango had locked up the apartment so Kagome hadn't bothered to bring it. She was about to go back to the meeting when she felt a presence behind her. Whirling around, she saw Sesshoumaru leaning casually against the wall dangling a set of keys.

"Missing something?"

His sudden appearance had her heart pounding madly in her chest. At least she told herself that it was his sudden appearance. There was no way it was the way his hair seemed to glitter in the harsh light of the corridor or the way his broad shoulders just begged to be caressed by female hands. It definitely wasn't the way he wore his jeans low on his hips, the bottom of his shirt shifting to reveal a tantalising glimpse of skin every time he moved……

Realising she was staring at him with a rather stupid expression on her face, she dragged her eyes away from his hips and back to his face. The slightly amused expression told her he knew exactly what she was thinking. She blushed and blurted out the first thing that came to her lips.

"W..what are you doing here?" she stammered.

He raised a quizzical eyebrow.

"I own the building." He said dryly.

She shook her head.

"I mean right here. Holding my keys."

"I watched you leave and asked Sango. She told me you had gone back to your apartment and most likely didn't have your keys. So I followed you with my set."

His explanation seemed simple enough but it set a swarm of questions whirling around her mind. Why had he followed her? Was it genuine concern or something else? And if it was genuine concern then what did that mean? Was he just being a nice guy or was something else on the cards?

"Why?" she whispered softly to herself, not expecting him to hear so it was a shock when he answered.

"I must admit my motives were less than noble. I wanted to talk to you. About Inuyasha."

Kagome held her breath and braced herself for what was coming next.

Sesshoumaru looked almost uncomfortable; a look Kagome knew by instinct was not common for him. He took a few steps closer until he was less than a foot away from her.

"I am sorry about what happened between you two. He was foolish and overly protective. It is unusual for his kind to reveal their weaknesses but to a potential mate it seems……strange for him to hide it."

Sesshoumaru's proximity made Kagome's head swim and her brain grasp at straws.

"Mate? We were lovers, not friends," Kagome said with a frown. Her voice became bitter as she went on, "and I knew about his weakness from the start."

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened in shock.

"You mean you knew about him from the start? About how he is... different?"

Kagome frowned.

"Different? What's so different about screwing your secretary? It's almost a cliché. Now if you don't mind, I'm tired."

Without another word Kagome took the keys out of Sesshoumaru's limp hand and turned to unlock her door. She missed his fleeting look of confusion and surprise. By the time she turned round again he had backed away to lean on the other wall and his face was deadpan again.

"Night." Kagome said softly, intensely sorry that their moment had been ruined by the subject of Inuyasha.

Sesshoumaru simply nodded and walked off. Kagome let herself in and went straight to bed.


	5. Chapter 5 Looking for clues

Chapter 5!!! Sound the bells! sing from the rooftops! I have broken my record!!

Ahem. Be serious....

Thank you to all my reviewers, you have inspired and pushed me to actually write this chapter. Enjoy!

This chapter is looking for clues by Robert Palmer

Chapter 5: Looking for clues

Kagome woke with a start. The glowing red numbers on her alarm clock read 5:45 am. She groaned and pulled the covers back over her head. Her dreams had been disturbing and she felt restless and tense, like a wire about to snap. Pulling back the sheets, she dressed quickly and paced around the flat. The sky was still grey outside and through the slightly open door Kagome could see Sango fast asleep on her own bed. Determined not to wake her, Kagome scraped her hair back into a ponytail and went for a run. Before she had met Inuyasha it had been her favourite form of exercise; she ran at least twice a day if not more. After they had moved in together Inuyasha had complained about her getting up before dawn every morning and so she had stopped. Looking back, it amazed her how much of her life she had changed to make room for Inuyasha. It was sad really; despite all her sacrifices he had still wanted more than her.

The early morning air was crisp as she left the building and stretched. She planned a mile route around the block and set off in a steady rhythm. She usually would do more but she was unfit and knew that the cool air would become hot when the sun rose properly in about an hour.

It wasn't long before the exercise worked its magic. She could feel the tension flow out of her muscles as the endorphins kicked in. Exercise had always been her escape, her way to deal with things. And right now she needed to deal with something huge; Sesshoumaru.

It wasn't so much his connection to Inuyasha that put her on edge around him; it was the way he made her feel. Her heart started pumping at twice its speed whenever he was in the room and her skin came up in goose bumps. But it was more than a physical attraction that made her uncomfortable around him. Some of the things he said made her suspicious. He wasn't being completely honest with her. Something was going on in that family and she wanted to know what it was.

A small voice in her head argued that it was none of her business what went on in the Taisho family and that she shouldn't poke her nose in but she pushed it aside ruthlessly. It _did _involve her; she had been dating Inuyasha for almost three years and she had a right to know what was going on. She might even be able to help.

Her conscience salved, she turned her attention back to the road, just in time to stop herself from running into a car. She had run this way so many times that she did it on auto pilot, a dangerous thing for someone as accident prone as she was. Smiling apologetically at the furious driver, she jogged across the road and into the park. Under the cover of the trees the half light became twilight, blocking out the sun's progress.

Something about the park made her edgy. It felt like the temperature had dropped several degrees and a shiver went down her spine. She sped up, unable to shake off the feeling that someone was watching her. Uncertainly she glanced behind her and was relieved to see nothing there. Feeling stupid, she carried on running but the feeling persisted. At last she saw the end of the park and the early morning light that shone there.

She breathed a sigh of relief as she ran into the warm spring sunlight. It was fine; there was no one there. At least that was what she told herself. Unable to resist, she took one last look at the gloom she had run through. From this angle it looked completely harmless, especially as the sun was stronger now, piercing the canopy and dotting the leafy floor with spots of light.

She turned to continue her run…and ran straight into a solid wall of muscle. She lost her balance and began to fall but a pair of strong arms gripped her and pulled her closer to a warm chest. Bewildered, she looked up to see a pair of very familiar and very amused hazel eyes.

~~**~~

"Sesshoumaru," she whispered, a faint blush rising to her cheeks. "what are you doing here?"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Why else would I be in a park at half six in the morning? I'm out for a run, same as you."

Kagome stepped back and looked at him closely. He was wearing grey jogging bottoms and a light blue skin tight t-shirt. He definitely had been running then, and yet he was not sweating or breathing hard. Sure, she was out of practise, but she was dripping with sweat and gasping for breath. Although she could be gasping because she had just been held so close to his warm chest…..

She blushed harder and looked back into his eyes; eyes that sparkled with humour and just a hint of awareness. It was like he knew what she was thinking!

She took a deep breath to clear her impure thoughts.

"Well I'd better be going. Enjoy your run and…..thanks for not letting me fall."

Sesshoumaru gave her a slight smirk.

"It was….. my pleasure."

Kagome shivered as his velvety voice seemed to caress the word. It was unfair; here she was trying to avoid another bad relationship and he was seducing her with just his voice.

He glanced at his watch and sighed.

"I haven't got time for my usual run now. I'll come back with you….if that's ok?"

Kagome knew he only asked out of courtesy. No one in their right mind would ever say no to him.

"Sure," she said, her voice slightly breathy.

Feeling very self conscious, she started to jog back towards the road and home. He fell into step beside her and they ran in comfortable silence.

As they neared the flats, Sesshoumaru finally broke the silence.

"So, how long were you dating Inuyasha?"

"Three years….on and off. More off than on at some points. He was, let's say, a little erratic."

Sesshoumaru nodded.

"I have heard of his infidelities. He is a shame on the Taisho family. It is not honourable to desert ones mate. Or even potential mate."

Kagome frowned.

"Ok, firstly that's pretty mean. He _is_ your brother. And secondly, as I told you before, we were lovers, not friends. And now we are neither because he couldn't keep his thoughts on one woman. Satisfied?"

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow.

"Why do you defend him after all he has done to you? And he is only my half brother."

Kagome sighed and slowed to a walk as they entered the building.

"I don't know. I guess it's just second nature now. Three years is a long time and I've spent most of it defending him from one person or another. Sango always said he was no good for me."

Sesshoumaru nodded then glanced at his watch.

"I had better be going now. I have a meeting in about an hour across town. Running with you was most enjoyable. I trust we will do it again?"

Kagome nodded, even though she knew it wasn't really a question. After a few meetings with him she knew he was the type that always got what he wanted and could bend other people to his will with ease.

Sesshoumaru walked towards the lift and, just before the doors closed, he looked deep into her eyes and said,

"I would listen to that friend of yours if I were you. She knows what she's talking about."


	6. Chapter 6 Why did I ever like you?

Chapter 6 everyone!!! Thanks for the great reviews!!

Why did i ever like you? by P!nk

Chapter 6: Why did I ever like you?

Kagome walked into the office, marched to her desk and started work, all without making eye contact with any of her colleagues. It wasn't that she was angry; she was ashamed. Ashamed of the fool she had made of herself on Friday, crying at her desk like that.

The weekend (and Sesshoumaru and Sango) had helped her get things in perspective and now she felt much better about the whole thing. Inuyasha hadn't deserved her unconditional love, hadn't deserved her, and now she was going to let him know how much he had relied on her by dropping him completely. It wasn't that she wanted him back; she just wanted him to miss her. It would do wonders for her flagging self esteem and help her close that chapter of her life for good.

Humming happily to herself, she started on the filing that she had gotten behind on due to her apathy the week before. A broken heart wreaked havoc on your motivation, she thought with a self-deprecating grin.

~~**~~

As Kouga watched his favourite employee smile to herself he felt a sense of dread. Such a quick turnaround of emotion meant one of two things; either she had got back together with her good for nothing boyfriend or she was heading for a nervous breakdown. Perversely he hoped for the latter. At least if it was a nervous breakdown there was something he could do to help. If dog breath had wriggled his way back into her life again there wasn't a lot he could do but wait for the next break up. He knew Inuyasha well, knew of his infidelity and the reasons behind it, and yet he couldn't condone him hurting a precious flower like Kagome. She was perfection in his eyes, from her glorious midnight hair to her tiny little feet. There were only two reasons he hadn't made a move on her; professional courtesy and the fact that, even if she didn't know it, she was under Taisho protection and it would take a braver demon than him to challenge the Taisho clan.

He sighed, ruing the fact that her beauty would be wasted on a pack of dogs and walked back into his office.

~~**~~

Sango watched her best friend potter around the office, a content smile on her face, and had to suppress a grin. She was so glad to see Kagome back to normal, back the way she had been before that snake Inuyasha had bulldozed her life. Speaking of snakes….

Sango blinked and took another look at the elevator. No, her eyes weren't deceiving her, Inuyasha was really there. The nerve of him!

Deciding she would put a stop to it, she left her desk and marched over to him, hoping like mad that Kagome hadn't noticed him.

"What in Kami's name do you think you are doing here?" she hissed, jabbing him in the chest.

"I need to see Kagome," he said, pushing past her, "I need to explain…"

Sango grabbed his arm.

"There's nothing to explain," she said coldly, "you left her for another woman. Again. But this time she isn't going to forgive you."

Inuyasha's eyes narrowed.

"You bitch," he whispered, "you've poisoned her against me! What did you say to her?"

Sango glared at him.

"I didn't say anything. This time she's made her own mind up, come to her senses. She doesn't want you anymore!"

Inuyasha's eyes darkened as he finally lost control of his temper. He raised his arm to strike Sango. She gasped and closed her eyes, waiting for the pain. But it never came.

She looked up to see Inuyasha, arm still raised, with a look of shock on his face. A tiny hand was wrapped around his wrist and he slowly lowered his hand. He turned to see Kagome standing behind him, her eyes glittering with unshed tears.

"Inuyasha…..Please leave." She said softly.

Inuyasha's face fell.

"Kagome….please."

"Just…..go." she said, turning away and walking back to her desk.

Inuyasha sighed in defeat and made his way back towards the lift. Sango caught a glimpse of his face before the lift closed; he looked broken. Even after everything he had done, she couldn't help but feel a stab of sympathy for him.

~~**~~

Kagome sighed and glared at the lift. She hated him, hated that he could still ruffle her feathers. And yet his visit hadn't upset her as much as she thought it would. She had felt angry rather than sad at his forced entry into her office. With a smile she realised that maybe she really was over him.

Kagome turned back to her work and so almost didn't hear the soft rustle of jewellery hitting the ground. She looked down to see her favourite bracelet on the carpeted floor. It was a chain of tiny loops, and it contained only three charms. One was a large silver star that had smaller black stars dangling from it on small chains. The next was a pink ball about the size of a marble that shimmered in the light as if it was full of glittery smoke. The last was a dark purple crescent moon that had been a gift from Inuyasha. She had owned the charm bracelet as long as she could remember; it had been a gift from her long dead father. The memories of her father were hazy at best but her most potent memory was of sitting in his lap and feeling so safe.

Fighting back tears at the emotional memory, she finally got back to work.

~~**~~


	7. Chapter 7 Scared

Hi guys, chapter 7!

This one is dedicated to;

XxHisLilLoverGirlxX

and Kouga's Older Woman

For rewieving almost every chapter and giving me inspiration from the beginning! I appreciate it!

Also I want to dedicate it to

Virus Youkai Child and Angelicatt for their motivating, pleasing and all round smile giving reviews. Thank You!!!!

Scared by Three Days Grace

Chapter 7: Scared

Blood. So much blood. Everywhere, blood. It trickled from the woman's many wounds and flowed in tiny rivers along the paved floor.

She was breathtakingly beautiful, with floor length ebony hair and striking violet eyes. Her ears were pixie like and she bore a black star on her wrist. Her beauty was ethereal, almost non human, in the flickering candlelight, but so at odds with the cruel chains that bound her to the wall.

The room looked like a medieval dungeon, complete with a cold, hard executioner. He didn't flinch as he stabbed a knife into her thigh and she whimpered in pain.

"Tell me." he said in an emotionless voice.

"I don't know!" she sobbed, her tears running to mix with her blood, "No one has seen her for almost five years!"

"I don't believe you." he ground out, twisting the knife cruelly.

Suddenly the woman's eyes turned as red as her blood and she struggled against her bonds. Her face was feral and she snarled at her captor.

A savage grin came to his face.

"Well, this a bit more interesting," he said grabbing a fistful of her hair, "now tell me!"

"I will tell you nothing!" she hissed, then spat in his face.

He let go of her hair, stepped back and wiped the saliva out of his eye. His face was once more blank.

"Then you are no good to me." he said dispassionately, drawing a sword from his belt.

Seconds later the woman's head rolled to the floor, her blood red eyes staring and empty.

~~**~~

Kagome woke up screaming, her body covered in sweat. She sat up in bed, shivering in terror, and waited for her breathing to calm down. It had been so real, the woman's pain, the blood, the intense feeling of death that had filled the room. It had been like she was there, like she had actually seen that woman murdered before her eyes. It took her a moment to realise that she was crying.

Wiping her face, she lay back down and pulled the covers up to her chin, praying for a dreamless sleep, or at least some respite from the disturbing images that flickered in front of her eyes like a macabre slide show.

Half and hour later Kagome sat on the edge of her bed and ran a frustrated hand through her hair. It was no use; she wouldn't sleep now.

She got off the bed and dragged a robe over her camisole and shorts night set. The apartment was so hot, so claustrophobic that she needed some air.

She padded softly out of her room, crossed the living room on tip toes and finally made it into the cooler corridor. Relived that her midnight walk hadn't woken Sango, she opened the door at the end of the hallway and stepped out onto the fire escape.

The cool night immediately made her feel better. It caressed her heated skin and surrounded her, making her feel at one with the night. She had always loved the outdoors and, for longer than she could remember, it had made her feel safe and serene.

She was jolted out of her mood when she heard a noise below her. Something was rustling around next to the foot of the stairs, hiding in the shadows and it was coming towards her. She tried to convince herself that it was nothing to worry about, probably a fox or squirrel but what kind of fox climbed a fire escape? And anyway, it was far too large to be a fox or even a dog. It was man sized.

Panic clawed at her and she was just about to run inside when the door opened and a figure joined her on the fire escape. A small scream escaped her before a large hand covered her mouth.

She struggled and kicked at her captor before a familiar voice reached her ears.

"Kagome?"

She could have died of embarrassment. She immediately stopped squirming and he took his hand away.

"Sesshoumaru." She answered shortly.

"Why are you out here?" he asked her softly.

"Couldn't sleep. You?"

"I was woken by your fear," he said shortly.

She turned towards him with a frown on her face.

"My fear?"

He nodded with a strange expression on his face. On anyone else she would have said they looked sheepish but she couldn't imagine the great Sesshoumaru looking anything but self assured. It must have been a trick of the half light.

"Care to elaborate?" she asked, raising an eyebrow in a good imitation of him.

"Your nightmare….you screamed."

"Oh…right," she said, her face falling.

She had forgotten the terror of her nightmares but his words brought it all back. She shivered and he grimaced, and then opened his arms to her. It seemed natural to lean into his chest for comfort and even better when his arms came around her.

"Would you like to talk about it?" he whispered into her hair.

She said nothing but leaned closer into him.

"It was just so real….." she whispered, "the blood, that woman…..and worst of all it felt like I knew her, although where from I have no idea."

Sesshoumaru's grip tightened in sympathy and they held each other for what felt like forever. Kagome had never felt so safe in all her life and when his arms loosened around her, she almost protested.

He grasped her shoulders and set her away from him, looking deep into her eyes.

"You should try and get some rest," he said gently, "I trust we will run together in the morning?"

At Kagome's nod, he guided her through the fire escape and to her apartment door.

"Goodnight," she said softly, as she walked into the apartment and closed the door.

As she dozed off that night, her mind flashed back to the dungeon and the cold face of the executioner. She began to feel the familiar tendrils of fear start to grow over her but then she remembered the warmth and safety of Sesshoumaru's embrace. She drifted off into a deep sleep, dreaming of a meadow, under a sliver crescent moon, and sleeping in the arms of a man that becoming increasingly important to her.


	8. Chapter 8 Home Truths

Hi Guys, chapter 8!!

Sorry for the late update, my drunken exploits over the weekend rather set me back.....heh, you don't want to hear about that....

Anyway, on to the chapter!! this one doesn't have a song... my musical muse deserted me.... :-(

Chapter 8. Home Truths

Kagome pushed her sweaty hair out of her eyes and bent over double to catch her breath.

"Bloody hell!" she gasped, "it's like gym class all over again!"

Sesshoumaru smirked.

"Is it my fault that you are so weak nowadays?"

Kagome looked at him quizzically.

"How did you know I used to be good at running?"

A very faint, so slight she almost missed it, blush came to Sesshoumaru's cheek.

"Inuyasha." he said shortly.

Kagome nodded and started to make her way slowly up the hill to the apartment building.

"So..." she said eventually, as her breathing returned to normal, "how is he?"

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at her.

"Inuyasha?"

At Kagome's nod, he continued.

"I haven't seen him since you moved back here," he said gently, "but I would imagine he is alright. Usually I'm the first person he calls to bail him out of any trouble. Why do you ask?"

Kagome sighed and fell into step beside Sesshoumaru.

"As much as my feminine pride would love to have him in as much pain as I felt when he left me....well, I couldn't wish that on anyone, least of all a man I claimed to love."

Sesshoumaru nodded in understanding.

"You always were too forgiving for your own good." He muttered.

Kagome laughed.

"You say that as if you have known me for years!"

Sesshoumaru said nothing but quickened his pace.

"Hey!" Kagome called, "Wait up!"

She ran after him, slipping her hand into his to make him wait. Sesshoumaru sighed and gave her a rueful glance but didn't remove his hand from hers, despite slowing down to her pace.

They carried on walking in silence, Kagome trying to suppress the blush that threatened to creep up her neck. Something about holding hands with Sesshoumaru felt so right, natural even.

She smothered the sigh of disappointment when they arrived at the apartment building and they were forced to part.

Sesshoumaru got into his private lift that went to the penthouse, and she made for the regular one next to it.

"Kagome..." Sesshoumaru called, just before his lift doors closed, "Would you like to have dinner with me tonight? About 8?"

The smile that lit Kagome's face up as she nodded gave him a queer feeling inside, a feeling he hadn't felt in more than five years. He was almost glad when the doors closed and he didn't have to maintain his stoic expression.

Kagome practically skipped to the other lift, her spirits soaring from such a simple gesture. Part of her was screaming that she had never felt this way about anyone else before, not even Inuyasha. Another, less obvious, part of her was whispering that wasn't it strange that she had fallen so hard, so quickly? And what about Sesshoumaru was giving her this eerie sense of déjà vu?

Pushing her thoughts aside, Kagome got into the open lift, determined to enjoy these feelings while she could. Because deep inside her, her very soul was telling her that this couldn't last forever.

~~**~~

Sesshoumaru sighed with relief as the lift doors closed. It was so hard to maintain a normal facade in front of her, especially now she was over the worst of the pain and back to her normal, perceptive, self.

He pulled off the Rolex around his wrist and his concealment shield fell. His short blond hair grew to knee length and turned silver, claws grew from his fingernails and his eyes turned from hazel to gold.

The lift doors opened to reveals his penthouse suite, the only place he could truly be himself. It was surrounded by protection charms and decorated to suit his tastes. The rooms were in earthy tones, mostly creams and browns, to reflect his natural heritage. Everything was tidy and had its own place. He liked to call it organised, although his half brother preferred obsessive. Speaking of the hanyou.....

Sesshoumaru wrinkled his nose at the scent invading his pristine home.

"Inuyasha." He said curtly by way of a greeting.

Inuyasha was sprawled over one of the three squidgy armchairs, his long silver hair draped over the arm and pooling on the cream carpet.

"How is she?" he asked softly, his eyes conveying more emotion than his words.

Sesshoumaru sighed, tossed his sports jacket over the kitchen unit, walked into the sitting room to join his brother before sinking rather more gracefully than his sibling into an armchair opposite.

"Hurting," He replied, his tone brisk, "but recovering."

Inuyasha drew his feet up to his chest and curled up into the foetal position, looking like a guilty child.

"I hadn't realised how difficult it would be, giving her up. I mean, I've known her since we were kids. It's just......I expect her to act like she used to....like a youkai. And she doesn't anymore; she's so human, all emotion and warmth. I couldn't resist her, not after everything we have been through together. I know everything about her. And she knows absolutely nothing about me, not the real me. I just.....I got fed up of living a lie. I needed to be around someone who knew the real me, just for a while. Kikyou knew me. That's all there was to it. We just talked, nothing more. But Kagome's human now. She doesn't see it the way she used to."

Sesshoumaru said nothing.

Inuyasha looked up, suddenly anxious.

"I never asked, how do you fit into this? I know you and her.....well you were...."

"What we 'were' is of no consequence. It is true there was something there, once, but with Naraku still at large, there is every chance that Kagome may be in hiding for the rest of her life. I have no right to condemn you for your actions. And nor will she, if she ever becomes her self again. You did what you had to do, to protect her. She will appreciate it if, _when_, she returns to normal."

With that said Sesshoumaru rose gently to his feet and walked into the pristine kitchen.

"I would offer you a drink," he said, putting on the coffee machine, "but I believe you should have been in a meeting with father about ten minutes ago."

Inuyasha cursed, jumped out of the chair and grabbing his coat, "Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"I would have, little brother," Sesshoumaru said, smothering a smirk, "but you were entrenched in your melancholy."

Inuyasha raised an eyebrow.

"Hardly melancholy Sess," he said jokingly, opening the door to the lift.

"But, Sesshoumaru," he said, his tone suddenly serious, "be careful. Don't make the same mistake I made. She's not Kagome; not really, she's just a cheap copy wearing our Kagome's skin. So don't......get too attached."

Sesshoumaru suppressed a growl at his brothers back. Of course he wasn't getting too attached! Protecting Kagome was his job and keeping her happy was part of protecting her. It had nothing to do with any softer feelings he _didn't_ have for her.

'But taking her out to dinner is _not_ part of your job' an unwelcome sneaky voice piped up.

'Then maybe I won't go out to dinner with her' he answered back, trying to ignore the ache that gave him.

Sighing, he finished his coffee and headed for the shower. Although he would never admit it to anyone, he didn't know he was going to do about dinner. All he knew was, arguing with himself probably wasn't a good sign...


	9. Chapter 9 A kiss is a terrible thing to

Hi, sorry for the short chapter but I promise to compensate for it with another short chapter later in the week and have a normal chapter up early next week. Good enough tradeoff??? Please be aware that dead authors write less.......

A kiss is a terrible thing to waste, Meatloaf

Chapter 9: A kiss is a terrible thing to waste

Kagome huffed as she looked in the mirror; her hair just wouldn't lay right! Everything else was perfect; her simple black dress was suitable for most occasions and hugged her petite but curvy frame. Her makeup was minimal but enough to enhance her already enchanting features. Now if only her unruly hair would cooperate!

She had been aiming for a sleek French twist, something sophisticated but not too elaborate, but her wavy hair had other ideas.

She was wrestling to pin a cowlick down when Sango came up behind her.

"Kags, let me help," she said softly.

Kagome gratefully surrendered the brush and sat back to let Sango brush out her silky locks.

"So, Kagome," Sango said after a few minutes, "who's the lucky guy you're making all this effort for?"

Kagome fought down a blush.

"I'm not making _that _much effort," she contradicted, "and….well…Sesshoumaru is the one taking me out to dinner."

Sango suppressed a grin.

"Sesshoumaru, huh?"

"It's not what you think!" Kagome said hurriedly, "he's just my running buddy. We're going to dinner as friends!"

Sango gave her a knowing look.

"Honestly!" Kagome cried.

"Okay…..if you say so," Sango teased before becoming serious.

"Kagome, hun, be careful," she said quietly.

"Sesshoumaru has always been the perfect gentleman," Kagome said, confused.

"It's not that," Sango said, "It's just…..well, Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha _are _brothers…."

Kagome looked blank, "And?"

"Well they sort of look the same…"

Kagome's face cleared as realization dawned,

"Oh, you mean like I might be on the rebound?"

Embarrassed, Sango nodded.

Kagome smile, "you don't have to worry about that, the brothers are like chalk and cheese. Besides, I'm over Inuyasha now."

Sango visibly relaxed, confident that Kagome was alright, and slid the last hair grip securing the twist into place.

"There," she said, spraying on a little hair spray to hold it, "all done. Knock 'em dead, tiger."

Kagome grinned happily, grabbed her bag and headed for the door.

"See you later Sango, I should be back fairly early!"

As the door closed, Sango's smile fell into a frown of concern. She had the strangest sense of foreboding……

~~**~~

Sesshoumaru was waiting for Kagome when the lift doors opened on the ground floor. His back was to her but, from what she could see, he looked incredible. The black suit highlighted everything, from his broad shoulders to his slim hips and made his white blond hair seem to glow. Kagome could have sworn her heart skipped a beat; he was beautiful.

She stepped out of the lift to greet him, a wide smile on her face.

"Sesshoumaru!" she called.

He turned towards her, his expression unusually open. She saw the emotions cross his face clearly; the male appreciation for the way the dress molded her curves, so clear it made her blush. But it wasn't his expression that sped up her pulse; it was the warmth and affection in his eyes as she walked towards him.

Sesshoumaru could barely believe his eyes; she was an angel. Despite his title and the generations of royal blood that flowed in his veins, he almost felt humbled to be allowed to accompany a beauty like her.

She seemed to float towards him and by the time she was standing next to him, a rare smile graced his lips. He extended an arm.

"Shall we go?" he asked.

Kagome nodded, threaded her arm through his and let him lead her to the doors.

"Oh, damn," she muttered as they were about to cross the threshold, "my bracelets stuck!"

One of the silver stars was wrapped around the moon charm and wouldn't untangle.

"Let me," Sesshoumaru said gently, reaching out to help her.

Kagome felt an irrational sense of protectiveness; no one but her father and she had ever touched the bracelet. Telling herself she was being stupid, she tentatively held out her arm.

Sesshoumaru reached out again, expecting to untangle the bracelet. But the second his fingers found the chain it started to unravel, the links dissolving until all that was left was the charms on the floor…and one long, silver, hair.

Horrified hazel eyes clashed with startled brown ones…..except that they were no longer brown. They were darkening, turning first blue, then a deep indigo.

Sesshoumaru gasped; he knew what was happening, even if she didn't. Her hair escaped its bindings and started to grow down her back, losing its wave and shimmering so black it was almost blue. Claws sprang from her fingernails and, underneath the neckline of her dress, Sesshoumaru could see a tiny star start to appear.

"Sesshoumaru…." she whispered, obviously frightened.

Then her eyes glazed over, her body seemed to collapse and she fainted dead away. The last thing she saw before the blissful darkness was Sesshoumaru darting forwards to catch her.


	10. Chapter 10 Secrets

Hi, this chapter was supposed to be another short one but ended up being one of my longest! I will still try to get another out early next week, but no promises. My muse is a little worn out.

This chapter is dedicated to Theresa Mary Walker, my almost mother and one of the most incredible people I have ever met. She may not be with us in body, but always in spirit.

Rest in peace. We love you.

This chapter is also dedicated to Becca because I love her for reading this….and I promised. Love you Beck XD.

Secrets by Good Charlotte

Chapter 10: Secrets

Sango stood up at the sharp knock on her door. Who would that be at this hour? Probably Kagome, she was always forgetting her key.

"I don't know Kagome….when you said you would be home early, I thought you meant about ten," Sango said, opening the door, "You've only been gone about twenty minutes….." Sango trailed off and paled as she saw who was on the other side of the door.

"Sesshoumaru?" she whispered, suddenly frightened,"what's wrong with Kagome?"

Sesshoumaru said nothing, simply swept past Sango into the flat, cradling an unconscious Kagome in his arms like a child. He lay her gently down onto the sofa before spinning to look at Sango, a wild look in his eyes.

"What's wrong with Kagome," Sango repeated gently while shutting the door, knowing that too much pressure could throw Sesshoumaru into a rage.

Sesshoumaru didn't reply for a moment, just ran his hands through his magically shortened hair in a rare display of emotion.

"It's my fault," he said eventually, in a desperate voice Sango would never usually associate with her usually stoic landlord, "I knew what would happen if I touched the bracelet, but it never occurred to me…."

He slumped, defeated, into one of the armchairs. Sango ignored him and looked at her best friend, taking in the claws, longer hair and the star tattoo creeping up her neckline. Her face paled as comprehension dawned.

"Oh, shit!" she gasped, turning her stricken eyes to Sesshoumaru, "what do we do?"

"There's not a lot we can do," he said darkly, "moving her now would just make her more vulnerable to attack. We just have to reattach the shikon no tama and hope that no one noticed the power surge."

"Sesshoumaru," Sango said softly, "are you sure this is what you want? I mean you've waited more than five years for her….. surely if she's back to normal now….."

Sesshoumaru shook his head, "it doesn't matter what I want. If my desire to have her back the way she was put her in danger then the last five years would have been for nothing. She has to come first."

Sango's eyes pricked with tears. She had always known that Sesshoumaru was the one for her best friend, even when they had been children together back in the demon realm. Kagome had always been the only one that Sesshoumaru would truly open up to, the only one he showed his real feelings to. It had made her the envy of many, bringing her many rewards….but also many problems. Sango could remember Kagome coming back home once covered in bruises; Sesshoumaru and his father had fought over something and Sesshoumaru had locked himself in his rooms, refusing to see even his mother. Kagome had been the only one not to grant the prince of the West his privacy. She had banged on his doors for hours and, when that hadn't worked, she had climbed onto his balcony from her guest suit next door and invaded his rooms that way. No one but Kagome and Sesshoumaru knew exactly what happened next but, after a few minutes of screaming, crashes and the occasional yelp of pain, they had emerged, Kagome looking determined and Sesshoumaru looking resigned to his fate. It wasn't until the next day that the bruises appeared….and the beautiful bouquet of flowers with a note that simply said

_I'm sorry and I appreciate it_

_-S_.

Sango had asked Kagome what Sesshoumaru was apologizing for and Kagome had simply said,

"Nothing. He doesn't need to apologize. I was just being his friend."

Sango would never understand the mystical bond between them, but what she did understand was that Kagome was the only person Sesshoumaru had ever really connected with. She couldn't begin to imagine what it felt like to lose that connection. Sango had a hard enough time contenting herself with the cheap human copy she lived with when she could remember the amazing, intricate person that she had used to know. Something about Kagome Higurashi, the human, was only two dimensional.

Sango sighed, flopped down onto the remaining loveseat and curled up into a ball.

"So," she said eventually," you've probably spent more time with her since she moved back in than I have. How is she?"

Sesshoumaru looked up, "she's fine, really. Although she has been having nightmares. Apparently even losing her memory can't stop her being a princess."

Sango sat up straighter.

"What sort of nightmares?"

Sesshoumaru winced, "she saw Mizuki being tortured for information. I didn't realize the significance of her dream until Souske contacted me, telling me about her disappearance. It makes sense; they were always close."

Sango suddenly narrowed her eyes in thought, "didn't Lord Souske say that she would have no connection to the demon realm while she is in hiding? Surely her dreams should have stopped too?"

Sesshoumaru shrugged, "Maybe. But she does like to bend the rules…." He said softly, giving Kagome a tender look that was reserved just for her.

"It doesn't make sense. She hasn't had any kind of nightmare for the last five years. For them to start now….. well it seems like a bit of a coincidence. Maybe being around you has woken her up? And if that's true, you can't trap her again, it would only do her harm."

Sesshoumaru looked at Sango with a mixture of shock and grudging respect.

"Somehow you always manage to surprise me, Sango. You're right, of course, we can't reattach the shikon. So what do we do?" Sesshoumaru said, almost humbly.

"There's not much we _can_ do," Sango said, unknowingly mimicking Sesshoumaru's earlier words, "you have to hide her. Take her to the Taisho Manor, it has the best wards to disguise her presence and Naraku won't expect her to be there, not after five years."

Sesshoumaru nodded.

"Then time is short. I'll take her now; will you get word to Souske?"

Sango smiled in relief and nodded.

"Do you want me to come or….?"

Sesshoumaru shook his head and bent to scoop the still unconscious Kagome into his arms.

"If Naraku is having us watched then life has to continue as normal. Let Inuyasha and Kouga know where she is, but no one else. Tell your work colleagues she is on holiday or something."

Sango agreed and opened the front door to let Sesshoumaru out. As he was about to enter the lift she called out to him.

"Sesshoumaru!"

He turned, Kagome cradled carefully to his chest.

"Take care of her, ok?"

Sango felt tears prick in her eyes as Sesshoumaru nodded in acknowledgement and the lift doors enclosed two of the most important people in her life.


	11. Chapter 11 Open up your eyes

Chapter 11: Open up your eyes

Sesshoumaru didn't allow himself to relax until he was almost halfway home, his sports car eating up the miles to the Taisho manor. Kagome was curled up like a kitten on his passenger seat and he could tell from her breathing that she was still fast asleep. He couldn't stop himself from glancing at her every now and then, checking on her and absorbing the beauty that he had been denied for five long years. Even though he knew his slip up was putting her in danger, he couldn't help but be glad for her change. He had missed her, pure and simple. She had been an integral part of his life for many centuries and not having her there had created a hole that he just couldn't fill.

He tensed as he heard her breathing pick up and pressed his foot down; he wanted to be at the manor well before she awoke properly as he wasn't sure how much explaining would be needed. One thing was for certain; Kagome always managed to surprise him.

Sesshoumaru had just swung into his mile long drive when Kagome sat up and stretched. She rubbed her eyes and nicked her eyebrow with her claws. For a moment she stared at her fingers and the little trickle of blood down them, dumbfounded. And then she started to scream.

Sesshoumaru cursed before easing the car to a stop and taking the petrified Kagome into his arms. She was shaking with fear and he couldn't stop the soothing growl that rumbled in his chest. He hated the scent of her fear but it was the cause that he was more concerned about. Yes, she had cut herself, but the sight of blood had never upset her this much before. In fact, at a rather troubled time in her youth, he had taught her how to fight and she had been part of one of the greatest battles in demon history. So, if it wasn't the blood that bothered her, what was causing this hysteria?

After a few minutes her shuddering sobs subsided until she leant back against his hold and looked at her hands.

"Sesshoumaru…." She asked hesitantly, "why…..why do I have….well…..these?" she waved them in his face.

"Kagome," he said softly, "what do you remember?"

She frowned slightly and looked away from his eyes.

"I….I remember getting ready for dinner….I remember coming down the lift….I remember meeting you and then my bracelet getting stuck and you helping me and then….." she trailed off.

"And then?" he prompted, gently

She looked into his eyes; taking in the hazel orbs that were swimming with concern for her. She took a deep breath and tried to explain as best she could.

"It was like…..this _energy …. _It sort of swept over me. I remember a feeling like….like coming home almost. Does that sound crazy?"

"Not crazy at all," he whispered, his heart constricting slightly, "can you wait a while for me to explain? Just until we get to the house? We aren't safe, even here."

She nodded and sat back in her seat, carefully not looking at her hands. He put the car in gear, spewing gravel behind them as he sped up the drive.

Sesshoumaru felt himself truly relax for the first time in what felt like centuries. He was home. Finally.

Even though he had been living in the block of flats he owned for nearly five years, nowhere would ever be home quite like the Taisho Manor, nowhere was as well protected or held so many happy memories. It was here that he had taken his true form for the first time, here that he had met Kagome and spent many happy hours playing in the extensive gardens – hide and seek was much more fun when you had to rely on just your sense of smell.

He heard a small gasp from behind him and turned to see Kagome looking at the entrance hall with an expression of awe. He tried to look at his ancestral home with fresh eyes – he had to admit that it was very impressive. Even the entrance was lavish, a huge domed room with mahogany floors, scarlet drapes and gold leaf on the ceiling. It was designed to impress and it did it well. Not that Kagome's home was any less elegantly decorated and that was what worried him – she was acting like she had never seen such splendour before….could she really remember nothing of her previous life?

Sesshoumaru sighed and pushed away the depressing thoughts and steered Kagome into a small room just off the hall. This was much less opulent - although the furniture still screamed of wealth, this room was aimed more at comfort than showing off. The walls were lined with bookcases and there were three large sofas in a circle. This had been Kagome's favourite room when she had stayed here – she had loved books, but said the main library had reminded her far too often just who she was when all she wanted to do was get lost in the story. Looking at her now almost broke his heart – she looked just like the Kagome he knew, but she hadn't reacted to this room at all. She couldn't remember it.

He guided her into a seat and sat opposite her, waiting for her to make the first move.

"So…..what happened?" she asked eventually, in a tremulous voice.

He sighed again and leant forward.

"How much do you remember about who you are?"

She frowned, "odd question….I'm Kagome Higurashi, 23 years old…err, I live with my best friend, Sango….how much do you want to know?"

Sesshoumaru leant back, his expression grim. This wasn't supposed to happen; she was supposed to regain all her memories when the bracelet was taken off and the spell broken. But the spell was supposed to be broken by her father and no-one else. There must have been an accidental loop hole in the enchantment for him….maybe because it was one of his hairs they had used for the chain…..

"What are you?" he asked, just to make sure.

Kagome looked up, startled.

"How many options do I have?" she asked with a nervous laugh he didn't return.

"I'm human…" she said confidently, "Or….at least I think I am…..these are a bit confusing…." she finished, looking at her claws.

"You're not human," Sesshoumaru said softly, "you're a demon. A very important demon in fact."

"A demon!" Kagome spluttered, "but no one believes in demons any more! They are just fairy tales! Surely you can't be serious!"

Sesshoumaru's stoic expression remained unchanged and Kagome's smile faded.

"What makes you think I am a demon?" she asked, her tone calm despite her inner turmoil.

"Because I am one too," he replied gravely, "and I knew you long before you were turned into a human, Kagome."

Kagome shrunk back into her chair and drew her knees up.

"You're crazy…." She whispered, "I can't be a demon, and nor can you. I know my….fingers are a bit strange but there has to be a logical explanation for this."

"There is," Sesshoumaru said firmly, "you're a demon. I didn't want to do this, but if you won't believe me…."

He stood up and pulled off watch, determined to prove to her who they were and maybe – hopefully – spark off a few of her memories.

As his form changed, Kagome watched him, transfixed. This was scaring her, destroying some of the most basic knowledge she had, and yet part of her accepted this, knew that he was right and trusted him. Yes, he might just be a murdering lunatic who believed in ancient myths, but she was a woman who followed her gut instincts and they were telling her she could trust him. She knew him, had known him for a while apparently, and something about his natural form was calling out to her, bringing forth long forgotten memories that were just out of reach…..

She caught his gaze and lost her tenuous hold on the strands of memory. She tried a tentative smile which he returned, a look of relief on his face.

"Do….do you mind if I go to bed now?" she asked, her voice slightly tremulous, "it's been and long – and confusing – day. I need some time to….get my head around it…."

Sesshoumaru nodded.

"I will show you to your old chambers. But in the morning we have much to discuss…."

She nodded absentmindedly as she followed him from the room. So it was true – she had been here before. Something about the entrance hall had been so familiar….

He showed her to a large suit, complete with its own sitting room and a huge en suite bathroom. It was as tastefully decorated as the rest of the mansion, but she could clearly see her own touches in the decorating and the furniture. There was a king size western bed in the centre of the bedroom, covered in what could only be silk bedding and, after Sesshoumaru left, she could think only of crawling into it. A quick perusal of the giant walk in wardrobe found a pale blue, silk negligee that she quickly slipped into. The beautiful material fit her like it was made for her and felt delicious against her skin. Pushing her tumultuous feelings and questions aside, she sank into the bed and was asleep before her head hit the pillow.


	12. Chapter 12 Ghost of me

Sorry for the lack of authors note on the last chapter, I completely forgot!

I apologise profusely for my extended absence, school just got on top of me. I'm hoping to finish this fic this time, but you never can tell with me…..

A huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, I really appreciate it. Also thanks to Becks and Charlie for being my amazing betas and keeping me from giving up on this. I love you guys! *sniff*

So, here is chapter 12. Based on 'Ghost of me' by Daughtry

Chapter 12: Ghost of me

_The moonlight over the meadow gave everything an almost silver glow. Kagome lay in a patch of flowers and watched the summer breeze whip the pollen into tiny whirlwinds over her head. She had never felt quite so peaceful or relaxed. The whisper of silk against grass caught her attention and she sat up. A smile spread across her face as she saw her visitor. Sesshoumaru stood on the edge of the clearing, almost glowing in the pale moonlight. A gentle smile lit his features and Kagome couldn't take her eyes off him. She rose steadily to her feet and padded her way across the meadow towards him. His eyes followed her movement, an almost animalistic look of hunger deep in their depths. He remained stiffly upright as Kagome reached him and slid her arms around his neck. His golden orbs held so much pain, desire, caring and…love. He loved her, loved her so much that he was going to let her go to save her life. _

_Kagome knew that her eyes reflected his; she knew what she had to do, what she was going to give up for her own safety. She was giving up him, giving up everything they had and, worst of all, she was going to give up herself….._

"_It's going to be alright…." he said quietly._

"_I know," she replied, her voice certain._

_She rose up on her tiptoes and claimed his lips. As their kiss deepened, they both wondered if this would be for the last time….._

Kagome woke slowly, trying hard to hold on to the last vestiges of her dream. It was slipping away now, leaving only a brief impression of a meadow, a feeling of love…..and of loss. For some reason she felt a lump come to her throat; whatever the dream had been about it had upset her…..

She pushed away the melancholy feelings and dragged her still exhausted body out of bed. The shower in the en suite was calling to her, the warm water promising her relief from the ache in her bones, and so she pulled off her nightgown and let the soothing water work its magic.

It was twenty minutes later, when she finally left the shower, that she caught her first glimpse of herself in the mirror since her transformation. And, for the second time in as many days, she screamed.

Seconds later, Sesshoumaru burst into her room, eyes alight with concern. Just in time to see Kagome's towel drop.

"Sesshoumaru!" she cried, trying in vain to cover herself up with her hands.

"You screamed!" he said, obviously flustered as he turned his back on her.

Kagome quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself, her face burning with embarrassment.

"Are you alright?" Sesshoumaru asked, edging out of the bathroom, a faint flush of pink staining his face.

"I'm fine," Kagome said, clutching her towel in a death grip, "I just startled myself, that's all…."

Sesshoumaru nodded curtly and, still not looking at her, made his way to the door.

"There will be breakfast in the dining room whenever you want it, so take your time. I will meet you in my study when you are ready to talk."

With that, he left quickly, leaving Kagome alone with her thoughts again. She glanced nervously at the door a few times before padding her way back into the bathroom and taking off her towel. There was a huge, full length mirror that dominated most of one wall. This was what she had seen herself in, and the changes in her body were mindboggling – if she'd had any lingering doubts whether Sesshoumaru was telling the truth, they were long gone now…..

Her usually shoulder length, wavy hair, was now waist length and so black it was almost blue. Her curvy, five foot two frame had elongated into a slender five foot seven one and her breasts had become fuller. It was so strange; the woman in the mirror was undoubtedly her but a more perfect her than she would have believed possible. If Kagome had been the shallow type, all her dreams would have come true.

What intrigued her most were the small marks on her chest. They were made up of a large star with three smaller stars circling it. The skin under the marks was satiny soft to the touch and the whole thing shimmered when she moved. It was unlike any tattoo she had ever seen….except that part of her was certain it wasn't a tattoo. It felt important somehow, like the crescent moon she had seen on Sesshoumaru's forehead.

She sighed and added another question to the long list mounting in her mind. This whole situation was far too weird for her already frazzled brain to process and she desperately needed some time to think.

After leaving the bathroom she took another foray into the walk in wardrobe to find some suitable clothing. She was in a much better state to appreciate it now that she wasn't completely exhausted or reeling from the shocking revelation that she wasn't who she thought she was. It was a magnificent room in its own right, larger than her bedroom in her old flat and covered in wall to wall clothing and shoe racks. She must have been from a rich background – either that or Sesshoumaru was a _very _generous host – because all of the clothes were by one designer or another and they fit her new body like a second skin. After a few minutes of deliberation, she settled on an indigo slip dress that hugged her curves and accented her blue highlights.

She was just about to leave her rooms in search of breakfast when something in her sitting room caught her eye. There was a mahogany table near to the door, its surface covered with photos. She was in every one, with an assortment of people, some she recognised and some she didn't. There was a picture of her and Sango at what looked like a funfair, both laughing at the photographer. There was one of her and Inuyasha, arms around each others shoulders and smiling. There was a picture of her and a stranger, a man who looked in his forties, with long brown hair and strangely familiar indigo eyes…..

And there was so many of her and Sesshoumaru together; snapshots of holidays, of them fighting in a dojo, of them looking strangely somber in ceremonial robes, of her laughing with him, Inuyasha and another man with the same silver hair and golden eyes….So many pictures of a shared life that she couldn't remember. They had been close; that much was apparent from the way they looked at each other in the pictures. It broke her heart to think of how hurt he must be that she could barely remember him. He didn't seem like the type to let people in easily.

Kagome Higurashi wasn't accustomed to not feeling good enough. At least she hadn't been before the Taisho brothers. She had always been a grade A student, a model daughter and a hard worker. She hadn't been particularly lucky in love, but it had never seemed to matter all that much….But now, now she was a mere shadow of the girl Sesshoumaru loved and not enough to stop Inuyasha sleeping with his secretary. It was a sobering thought.

Kagome pushed away her ponderings and moved towards the door. She would get some answers from Sesshoumaru and, hopefully, remember enough about herself to become the perfect girl in the photographs….


	13. Chapter 13 Sleepwalker

Hi guys, thanks for the great reviews, really makes writing this worth it!

Here's chapter 13 - and I'm posting on a Friday which could be dangerous...

Enjoy!

Chapter 13: Sleepwalker

Kagome was, quite frankly, in awe. The sheer elegance and wealth of her surroundings was making her feel slightly dizzy and very humble. She hadn't been in a fit state last night to appreciate the opulent decoration or the beautiful antique furniture. She might have thought that the entrance was extravagant, but it was nothing to the rest of the mansion, the size of which she was fast losing patience with. When Sesshoumaru had left her rooms earlier, he had assumed that she knew where the dining room was…..and she had no idea. She had been wandering around aimlessly for almost twenty minutes and was now completely lost. She had ended up on a long corridor, lined with portraits. This was obviously the ancestral home of the Taisho clan because everywhere she looked she saw men and women with Sesshoumaru's silver hair or golden eyes. A few of the portraits were of silver dogs, massive beasts with red eyes and jaws dripping with saliva. Kagome shuddered; they looked far too menacing to ever be family pets…..

Kagome was so absorbed in her perusal of the exquisite paintings that she didn't notice she wasn't alone until she tripped over something near her feet. Kagome sat down hard on the floor and had to smother yet another scream – after all, it wouldn't do to embarrass herself again in front of Sesshoumaru. Before her was the ugliest thing she had ever seen; it was green in colour and came up to her knee height. It's toad like face and bulbous yellow eyes made her shiver with revulsion. She wouldn't have thought it sentient if not for the old fashioned kimono it was dressed in. It bowed to her and held out a hand to help her to her feet. Kagome accepted it gingerly – its skin was damp and ever so slightly slimy.

Once she was standing again, the creature gave her a long, hard look.

"My Lady Kagome," it said, its voice squeaky, "My Lord Sesshoumaru sent me to bring you to breakfast. Please follow me…"

It turned and lead her to a door which, in turn, lead to a staircase. Something about the creature was so familiar…

Kagome studied the back of the creature's head as she followed it, until the strand of memory she was struggling with suddenly unwound.

"Jaken?" she asked quietly.

The creature stopped and turned to look at her, one eyebrow raised in question.

"Yes, my Lady?"

Kagome grinned and shook her head, just glad that something was coming back to her. He looked at her for a moment before continuing to walk down the stairs.

As she walked more fragments of memory came back to her – following a much younger Sesshoumaru down this corridor during a game of hide and seek, being served tea in the library by Jaken, running down the portrait gallery to get away from a bullying Inuyasha and sobbing in Sesshoumaru's arms…..

The memories were so real and yet so foreign to her. She hadn't had many memories of her childhood before – probably because they were all faked – but it made her wonder just how much of her old life was real. Was her mother real? Her brother, her grandpa, were they just actors? Was Sango really a demon too? What about her boss? Her mind swam with all the possibilities, but of one thing she was certain; she needed answers to her growing list of questions and only Sesshoumaru could give them to her.

Eventually the staircase reached a wooden door. They went through it into the largest kitchen Kagome had ever seen. Bustling around inside was a plump old lady with greying hair curled up into a bun. She was busy doing the finishing touches to a mountain of food on one of the units.

"Kaede…" Kagome whispered to herself. She had no idea who this woman was or what she meant to her but Kaede seemed to fit this little old woman somehow…

"Kagome, my dear!" the woman Kagome had dubbed Kaede in her head called when she caught sight of her visitor, "glad you're finally up. I made all you're favourites; I expect you're hungry after living on a human diet for five years!"

She smiled at Kagome expectantly and Kagome gave a hesitant smile back.

"Umm, I'm sorry but…..how much did Sesshoumaru tell you? You know, about my…."

"Memory loss?" Kaede cut in, "yes, I know all about that dear. And don't worry; it'll come back in time. In fact, I expect you are already getting bits a pieces back already. Now eat up, you have a long day ahead of you."

With that she turned back to the pile of dirty pans in the sink and started to scrub, leaving Kagome to start her breakfast in peace. Kaede had been right; she was absolutely ravenous now that there was food in front of her and she quickly tucked into the feast. Kaede had been right; Kagome loved all of the dishes in front of her, even if she didn't recognise half of what she was eating. It seemed her body wasn't as confused by this memory loss as her head was.

After about half an hour of eating, Kagome finally decided she could put it off no longer. She rose to her feet, gave Kaede a distracted smile and made her way to Sesshoumaru's study. If she didn't think about it too hard, her feet knew the way by themselves. It took only minutes for her to find the right room.

When she reached the door she hesitated, her hand on the handle. Did she really want to do this? She could turn around right now, walk away and never look back. This didn't have to be her world, not really…

Kagome took a deep breath and closed her eyes. What did she want? Her answer was a mixed up flurry of emotion, but one thing really stood out. Sesshoumaru; she wanted Sesshoumaru. And to have anything to do with him, she had to summon up her courage, open that door and ask for the answers to questions she didn't want to ask.

She had no idea who she had been, but right now she was Kagome Higurashi, and Kagome Higurashi never let fear get in the way of what she wanted. She squared up her shoulders, took another deep breath and opened the door.


End file.
